afternoon tea. friendship

Does this place look familiar to you? Can you guess where it might be? Well, let me tell you. It’s Delft, a city and municipality in the province of South Holland, in the Netherlands. I have not had the pleasure of visiting Delft myself, not yet anyway, but my dear letter friend, James, spent some time there a while back and because he’s a kind and generous soul he shared his trip with me via letter and he bought me a little present from this charming, old city too.

James bought me this beautiful tea cup. He stopped at a porcelain factory and chose this lovely hand-cast, hand-painted creation just for me. Can you imagine my delight when this beautiful object appeared in my mailbox along with the following letter?

James wrote:

Dear Carol Ann,

Since you are so fond of the tea ceremony, and you are so kind as to include me on occasion, I thought that this would be the perfect gift for you. It is a hand-cast, hand-painted tea cup from a porcelain factory in Delft that has been making them since the 1600’s. I bought it for you at the factory when I was in Holland.

I would be quite honored if you might use it to make yourself a cup of your favorite tea when you read my letters once in a while. Or perhaps you can put out an extra place setting with it when you invite your friends over for tea. Nobody has to know why it’s there, and that way I can be there with you in spirit.

I am so honored to be included in the special brilliant world of your imagination. God bless you, Carol Ann.

Love, James

How would you feel if you received such a letter and gift? Well, I felt wonderful! Finding any personal letter in our mailbox is a delight and finding excellent letters from special friends is even better, but discovering exquisite presents sent in friendship along with very kinds words… well, this is pure bliss.

I hope you have wonderful pen friends like James. Such pen friends inspire us to live richly. They validate our worth by their caring. They inspire us with the sharing of their interesting activities and appreciations. They entertain us with their stories and they teach us things too, all sorts of things.

Oh yes, James is always teaching me things. He taught me to appreciate a simple pencil like I never appreciated it before. Do you think of the pencil as your friend? I bet you never gave pencils much thought. I sure didn’t, that is until I got this letter from James in which he extolled its merits. Let me share what he had to say.

“Carol Ann, do you think it is a breach of etiquette to write a letter in pencil? I really LIKE to write in pencil. Let me tell you what I have learned about the pencil! For one, pencil writing lasts much, much longer than pen writing. It’s true! I learned that when I started working in the archives department in the museum. (That’s the Norman Rockwell museum in Stockbridge, Massachusetts.) Archivists mark everything in pencil because it is more permanent. Also, it is more likely that I will draw you something because I don’t have to put down a pen and pick up a pencil. So how’s that for a deal? If you will tolerate my pencil writing, I will draw you more pictures in my letters. How’s that?”

Letter writers often teach us things because they are interesting people interested in lots and lots of things. Most letter writers are avid readers. When moved by the ideas encountered in a book most letter writers are eager to share those ideas. Why? You know. Sharing doubles their joy. I often write letters in my home library. There I can easily jump up, find the book I’m currently reading, and share a passage with my letter friend. I can enjoy this sharing any time of day or night too, and this is a real perk, for after all, you can’t always get a friend on the phone when you want to share or pop over to their house whenever the sharing mood strikes, but with letter writing sharing is possible 24/7.

And if you happen to write to artists like my friend James you’ll delight in receiving illustrated letters.

Just imagine finding drawings like this one scattered through the letters you receive. How would such drawings make you feel? They make me feel treasured. Now don’t get the wrong idea. My letters to and from James contain no hanky-panky. James knows I’m a married woman not interested in anything beyond pure and honorable friendship. I often read his letters to my husband who approves of this and all my letter relationships. The above illustration simply captures the joy a letter writer experiences when an interesting person and skilled writer becomes a new pen friend.

Naturally the best correspondents are kind and good people who have something to share and are skilled in expressing themselves in words and/or pictures, but remember, practice makes improvement. If however you feel you really have nothing to share, it could be time to explore some new interests.

Letter friends will provide us with lots of ideas that spark imagination and increase our zest for life as they share their adventures and favorite things with us.

Here’s another fun example of sharing from James. When he was planning a trip to Belgium, all excited to be leading a tour of the Flemish and Dutch masters, he inspired me to visit my local museum so I too could view art from this period and place. That’s how the power of suggestion works in letters.

And what’s this? It’s a Belgium waffle. James said it was the only item he could think of to appropriately decorate the stationery for his letter about his upcoming trip, and yes, seeing his drawing prompted me to dig out my waffle maker and experiment with some recipes.

Letters will be as intellectual as you and your letter friends are. They will help you think about new and different things. Letters will help you grow. They will provide a vehicle for reflection and sharing. Many of my elderly correspondents are thrilled to relive their life stories in letters, sharing those stories with new and interested ears, but no matter how old or young we are, sharing in letters doubles our joy, and, if we can’t get out often, or even if we can, letters offer great opportunities for stimulating interaction.

Though the physical and social aspects of letter writing are delightful, the intellectual aspect of letter writing is equally delightful and equally responsible for making this art form a Complete Treat! You may already know this, but if not, you’ll see as you write more letters and collect more interesting pen friends, friends like James.

So what are you waiting for? Write a letter!

As my “dead friend” Mister Rogers used to sing:

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood

a beautiful day for a neighbor

Would you be mine? Could you be mine?

Won’t you be my neighbor” …

and join me for afternoon tea?

The dogwood tree is beginning to bloom

I see it out my windows bringing me joy at every appearance.

so the porch is the perfect place to entertain guests today.

and some of the hydrangeas are changing from green to a lovely lavender color

It truly is a beautiful day in my neighborhood, the perfect day for a tea party — but then any day is a perfect day to share with friends.

Most times when I entertain I like to experiment with a new recipe. Today that recipe comes from the book “Tea and Inspiration” by Mary Pielenz Hampton.

I’ll attempt to make little tarts called “Maids of Honor”. Legend has it that these tarts were enjoyed very much by Henry VIII. Supposedly, he came upon the maids of his wife Catherine eating them, so he named these tea goodies in their honor.

If these tarts were fit for a king, queen and her maids of honor I should think they would be just fine for me and my guests

So let’s gets started.

First I make the pastry by using my mother’s tried and true recipe.

2 cups flour, 1 tsp salt, 3/4 cup crisco, 5 T cold water

Mix in a cuisinart for a minute and you have a lovely pastry dough.

Now to roll out the pastry onto a lightly floured surface and cut 3 inch circles out using a wine glass.

Next, we place the rounds into a greased and floured muffin tin pressing the pastry to the sides.

Now to prepare the filling

In a mixing bowl, lightly beat 2 egg yolks. Beat in the 1/2 cup of sugar, 1/2 cup of blanched ground almonds, 1 tbsp flour, and 1 tsp finely grated lemon peel or lemon zest. Slowly add the 2 tbsp of heavy whipping cream. Carefully spoon about 1 tablespoon of mixture into each pastry cup.

Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, until the filling is set and a light golden brown color.

Carefully remove from tins and place on a wire rack until completely cooled.

And we have a yummy “Maid of Honor” tart.

IMG_3063[1] — An up close look at the tart

With my baking finished it’s now time to organize the tea. Because I’m not sure which teas my guests enjoy I will be offering them a selection.

I set out four tea pots ready to be of service once my guests declare which teas they’ each prefer.

And because I’m never sure if my baking experiment will turn out I like to have insurance. Today the insurance is a fruit and custard tart.

This tart along with my Maids of honor mini tarts could be enough, but being Polish and the daughter of a great hostess, I was taught to always have more than enough goodies at a party. I purchased a few more things which I’ll slice and make ready for my guests in the hope that they will surely find something that appeals to them.

Now that the food is under control it’s time to check that the setting is ready. Let’s go out to the porch.

I set out the tea cups, adjust the silver and napkins, check that the tea treats are nicely arranged and start the music.

So you see there’s not much to planning a tea party. Afternoon tea is an exercise in gentility and like letter writing it is almost a lost art in today’s world, but I think it is an art worth our time and attention.

Amy, one of my favorite pen friends who lives in Kingston, Pennsylvania, recently sent me a quotation. The words are from Lao Tzu, an ancient Chinese philosopher and the father of Taoism. It reads:

“To attain knowledge, add things every day. To attain wisdom, subtract things every day.”

Lao Tzu’s words make sense to me. If we clear our lives of clutter and create time for learning and solitary reflection or reflection with others, we just might find our lives to be more rich, in fact GOLDEN.

Any minute my guests will be arriving. Today I have 3 ladies invited to tea — an old friend, Barbara; a new friend, Gerry ( who happens to have been my high school English teacher. I never knew Gerry well back then , but after meeting her at a wedding recently I thought it would be lovely to get to know her now); and Gerry is bringing a friend, Sandy. (Sandy was in my high school graduating class but we never knew each other back then).

Someone old, someone new, someone borrowed, and this time only one borrowed guest, not the usual two, because my seating arrangement only has room for four. And here they are.

I always ask my guests to be prepared to share a passion or favorite thing so Barbara brought a book of the poetry she’s written. Barbara was a teacher and she’s a very good writer.

Sandy talked all about the joys of being a grandmother. She told us of her fun in babysitting her little granddaughter.

Here you see Sandy and Gerry looking over some of my letters for I shared my delight in the Art of Letter writing.

Gerry told us all about her mother who almost lived to be 100 years old. Her mother’s passion was sewing and all forms of needlework so now Gerry’s passion is to find a home for all those things her mother made. Each month she gives something away and this month it’s a pretty apron.

Guess who gets that pretty apron? If you guessed me, you’re right!

Now I have that apron to wear at my next tea! As you may know when you give good things come back to you and with this tea I gained a pretty apron.

a lovely bowl of flowers thanks to Sandy

and the best gift of all – new and old friends.

Back in 1895 there was talk that it was probably inevitable that the excessive nervous tension and high speed of life was bound to have a deteriorating effect on all branches of art including the art of conversation.

They were right to worry for with time it’s only gotten worse. Letter writing, afternoon tea, in person conversations are truly taking a hit.

But

the good news is all these arts are still there for us. They’re just waiting for our participation. Take Lao Tzu’s advice and cut out some clutter, make some tea, read an intelligent book, write a letter and/or invite some friends for an afternoon soire,

The mere chink of cups and saucers tune the mind to happy repose.

So till next time

Relax and live richly

Tag: afternoon tea. friendship

Afternoon tea, philosophy, and me